The myth of the soldier with primary custody
I usually work out of our main office in Tampa, which is very near a major military base. Moreover, our Tampa office is near an area of town where a lot of military servicemembers live. Because of the office location, we represent a lot of soldiers and sailors.
So I was pretty happy last week when the media showed some attention on the fact that deployed servicemembers often lose primary custody. It's an important issue that deserves attention. I was glad to see it discussed.
But it's too bad that everyone missed the point.
The media circulated a series of anecdotes about how deployed soldiers will -- almost automatically -- lose primary custody of their children to their ex-spouses not only during deployment but after they return to the U.S. Divorce judges are reluctant to return children to servicemembers after they've returned from deployment. "Why should the children be bounced around?" judges will ask, "and what if the servicemember is deployed again?" You have to admit, the judges do have a point.
But it's not as much of a problem as you might think.
It's not as much of a problem because the servicemember will probably never get primary custody in the first place. The questions the judge will ask about bouncing the children around and about future deployments are asked long before a servicemember ever gets a chance at primary custody. How is a member of the armed forces supposed to respond when the judge asks, "Can you promise me you won't get deployed? Can you promise me I won't have to change the custody arrangement in a few months? How can you guarantee a stable residence for the children from now on? Will the children have to move? Will they have to change schools when you get deployed?" There are no good answers to these questions, and most of the servicemembers we represent quietly accept the fact that they will never have primary custody so long as they remain in the service and for so long as they may be deployed.
Yet another cost of war.
posted by Brent @ 6:47 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
Since I wrote this post, Florida passed a law which prohibits a judge from permanently taking custody away from a soldier, who had custody before he or she was deployed, just because he or she gets deployed.
The intent of the law is that the other parent will get temporary custody while the soldier is deployed, then custody must be returned to the soldier once he or she returns.
The statute is just taking effect, so we'll see how it works out. Not to be too depressing here, but I doubt it will make much of a difference. As I've said, you don't meet too many soldiers with custody anyway. And you know what's going to happen, the minute the soldier returns, the other parent is going to file for a change of custody, claiming some whole list of reasons why custody should change other than the deployment.
We'll see how it goes.
Hi,
This is SSG Correnti. I was medically evacuated from Iraq on 3 Aug. I arrived in TX on 11th of august. I have had my son Devran Perkins' custody since he was 1 year old. I came to Ohio to pick my son up on th 16th of august because my ex did not want to return him to me. On the 15th of Aug my ex-husband filed for a motion to get my son's custody dueto my military service and within one day he was awarded temprorary custody of our son, without my knowledge at all. I had not received anything from the court.
My ex went to jail the day after he was granted the temp. custody and he bailed out3 days after. He has to go back to court on the 3 sep 08 for pre-trial hearing and he will most likely go to jail for a while. He was jailed for idenification forgery and aggravated theft. My ex-husband had a warrant for his arrest for about 8 months. When he was granted the temprorary custody of our son the warrant for his arrest was still active. I went his the police to escort me to his house on the 16th of august and the police check both our backround and that is how I found out he was wanted for his arrest. I did a court rec ord search and he had three other criminal charges which he was jailed for a day or two on those charrges as well.
SGM, I will not be able to re-enlist to stay in the military because if I do I will loose my son. I am medically unable to deployed as well. I deployed twice in to Iraq and took care of son's and daugthers of this country to win our freedom yet I lost my child in return. I guess that is the way our government thanks its soldiers. I have been in Ohio in a hotel for a week now to be able see my son, which the judge had to force my ex husband to let me see him. While I was in Iraq my ex- had moved 3 times and my son had to move two schools during his moves. My ex- did not allow me to talk to my son for months while I was calling from Iraq/.
I don't know if you can do anytthing for me but my husband is still in Iraq. I have no one to turn to. I do not have any family members here in U.S. other than my in-laws. I love the Army and I am greatfull for the oppurtunities it provided me but I can not bear loosin myson who I provided for las 11 years with no child suport or financial help from his father other than $3000 he paid in 11 years of my son's life. I do not understand how the judge approved his motion, with his criminal backround and years deliquency of child support. My ex husband was already contemp of court when he filed for his motion.
Sgt. Correnti,
Your story sounds pretty typical of the way service members lose custody while deployed. It sounds like you need an Ohio lawyer. (Usually, you have to get a lawyer in the state where your son has lived for the last six months.) The only advice I can give you is to get a good lawyer right away. For your son's sake, I wish you the best of luck.
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